


ready, set, forget.

by peppersnot



Series: HQ!! Hogwarts AUs [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, KINDAAAAAA but not really idk it's not that angsty just tsukki being a shitface, M/M, haikyuu hogwarts aus make me so happy, kags doesn't make much of a proper appearance tbh, like always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 22:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2042082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppersnot/pseuds/peppersnot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wait, you mean he’s kissing him, and making him forget by using memory charms?”</p><p>Tsukishima hates himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ready, set, forget.

**Author's Note:**

> people need to write more for this beautiful ship like seriously and i think i'm going to go reread harry potter because the nostalgia is too much wow
> 
> Edit: hello I saw someone hating on this on twitter so I thought I'd mention here: this fic is Very Old. It is 2016 and I have learnt more about the characters and disagree completely with this fic. Dont be too harsh on me for it, please, I was just a smol bean trying to write.

It had been happening for a few weeks now.

He had Yamaguchi pressed against the walls of the astronomy tower, one hand on Yamaguchi’s waist, the other tilting his head back. Yamaguchi’s arms were wrapped around his neck, and Tsukishima broke the kiss for a two second interval for them both to catch their breath before they were connected at the mouth again. His head felt light, and for a minute, he considered dropping the secrecy. Considered telling Yamaguchi what exactly he was doing, and why.

Yamaguchi moved his hands up to cup Kei’s face, pulling him closer and murmuring a ‘Tsukki…’ against his lips and Tsukishima’s heart – already pounding – sped up.

After what felt like hours, he pulled away and looked down at Yamaguchi, both panting and breathless. Half-lidded eyes, a heavy blush dusting the freckles spattered across his face. Kei felt himself melting at the sight. He patted his hair down, guilt overcoming him again. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t do this. He’d promised himself that if he would, he wouldn’t take the steps he normally took to keep this a secret.

He was a despicable person.

“What was - ?” Yamaguchi started to say, and Tsukishima shook his head, as he reached for his wand.

“Tadashi,” he said. Yamaguchi looked up, surprised at the use of his first name, and eyed the wand Tsukishima now had pointed at him. “I’m sorry.”

_Obliviate._

Yamaguchi blinked at the sudden flash of green light. Then again. And again. He looked around the room, confused.

“Ah, Tsukki, what are we doing here?”

Tsukishima shrugged. “We were watching Quidditch practice,” he pointed at the window. “And then you fell asleep against the wall.”

If Yamaguchi suspected that the answer he was given was not the truth, he didn’t say. “Oh…okay. I have class now, so I’ll see you later!”

Tsukishima nodded, and Yamaguchi collected his things and left.

Kei slumped against the wall and decided he hated himself.

He’d gotten the idea almost two months ago, lying in bed after lights out and slowly, slowly accepting the fact that his feelings for Yamaguchi – which were way more than just platonic – were starting to consume him completely, and that he had to either get over it, or act on it.

He did try getting over it. He tried so hard. Stayed in the common rooms whenever he didn’t have class, so Yamaguchi couldn’t come in; ‘paid attention’ during classes so he wouldn’t have to ask Yamaguchi anything, or talk to him at all. Kageyama told him he was being obvious, but Yamaguchi didn’t give any indication of having noticed anything strange. Maybe it was because he was always an egoistic bastard, but either way, it didn’t work.

 _Absence makes the heart grow fonder_ , he’d read in one of his mother’s romance novels, and he laughed because really, cheesy as it was, it was so,  _so_  true. Every time he closed his eyes, the only thing he would see was the smiling freckled face of Yamaguchi Tadashi and he’d wake up sweating and confused and irrationally irritated 

Acting on it, on the other hand, was so much more difficult than Kageyama and Hinata made it seem. He knew how they got together. Hinata showed up at the Slytherin Dungeons, yelling for Kageyama. Tsukishima, who was standing right outside the door at the time, watched as Hinata declared that he was madly in love with Kageyama and that they should go out. Kageyama responded by pushing Hinata into the wall and kissing him.

Tsukishima left, disgusted at such blatant PDA.

But now he pondered over the fact that, disgusting as it was, it was probably a lot better and so much easier than his situation: desperately pining after his best friend.

He couldn’t  _tell_  Yamaguchi. That would be too embarrassing. How would he do that, anyway?

_“Hey, Tadashi, I like you.”_

Hah. No.

Or maybe yeah, sure, he could do that. He just didn’t want to think of what happened after.

_“Sorry, Tsukki. I can’t say the same…you’re my best friend…”_

Nope, he couldn’t take that. He wouldn’t be able to take that. If there was anything Tsukishima was sure of, it was that he wouldn’t be able to be the same around Yamaguchi if that happened. And he didn’t want that. He had an important friend – someone who was there for him when everyone else laughed in his delusional face, someone who had stood by him and believed every word he said, like a friend was supposed to do. He had other friends, sure. But they weren’t Yamaguchi. They couldn’t  _compare_ to Yamaguchi.

But he was a fifteen year old boy, suffering from the pressure of having to do what his brother couldn’t; having to play Quidditch and win for his house, like his brother couldn’t; get all Os in his OWLs, like his brother couldn’t. And on top of that, he had a massive crush on his best friend, who was with him 24/7, and it was inevitable that one day he’d lose control over himself.

So, on that fateful weekend, when everyone but them was at Hogsmeade, he dragged Yamaguchi into the out-of-order girl’s bathroom, ignoring the protests; pressed him against the locked door and kissed him.

He remembered it very well. It was really lame. Really wet and lots of teeth clashing, but it was their first kiss ever, and he really didn’t care much at that time. All he knew was that he was kissing Yamaguchi, like he’d wanted to, for so long, and it didn’t really matter if it was good or bad, whether they’d get caught or not.

And surprisingly, Yamaguchi didn’t seem to protest. He didn’t push Tsukishima away, didn’t struggle, didn’t try to free his hands from Tsukishima’s. Only kissed him back.

And that had been a good sign. But Kei was an asshole, and a complete loser, so when he stepped back, he didn’t wait for Yamaguchi to say anything, too scared it would be something he didn’t want to hear. He raised his wand, and muttered, “Obliviate.”

Yamaguchi didn’t remember a thing from the past ten minutes.

“How did we get here?”

“We’re hiding from Mrs. Norris.”

“Oh.”

And that was that. Except it wasn’t just that. It started happening everyday since then. He’d pull Yamaguchi into random secluded places and kiss him, before removing his memory regarding what they’d just done, and left, leaving Yamaguchi confused.

He was an asshole for doing it, but it was working out, kind of, so as much as he hated himself for it, he didn’t try to stop.

All he had to do, was remember to obliviate Yamaguchi when all was done. It was that simple.

Tsukishima sighed and collected his things – the robe he’d discarded and the wand that had fallen to the floor and left the tower.

-oOo- 

It was on a Hogsmeade weekend, when everyone was away, that he walked into the common room to hear something he was sure was as horrifying visually as it was audibly.  Fearing the worst, he peeked into the boys’ dormitory to see Kageyama and Hinata making out heavily on Kageyama’s bed, their shirts on the ground and their hands in places they shouldn’t have been.

He ran away.

No big deal. It’s what he always did when he came across Kageyama and Hinata being horny idiots – which was a lot. But this was still a lot different from usual. They weren’t just making out. That was mild. He’d seen a lot of couples making out in his entire fifteen years of being alive.

Majority of them since he’d started school here at Hogwarts.

What was so huge about this was that they were  _fucking._ They were having sex. They had gotten that far in their relationship, and here he was, pathetically harboring feelings that he refused to act upon unless he used magic to remove all memories of his having made a move. Pathetic.

He left Dungeons and made his way to the library. Maybe he should just try to bring his Herbology grade up, at least.

He wasn’t surprised at all to see Yamaguchi already there. He’d almost expected it, actually. It happened a lot. Think of the person you don’t want to see and they’ll appear right in front of you. And here he was.

Yamaguchi looked up and smiled widely when he saw Kei standing there with his books.

“Tsukki! You stayed back too!”

“Yeah…” he sat down on the empty seat next to his best friend and tried to make sure there was zero physical contact between them. “Why’d you stay?”

“I’m studying Herbology. We have a test tomorrow, right?”

“We do?”

“Yeah, don’t you remember?”

“…I don’t.” Shit. That was the last thing he needed to be worried about. He opened his books and stared at the picture of a mandrake’s ugly face, cursing up a storm in his head at himself, at Herbology, at Yamaguchi, at Fate –

Mostly at himself.

“I don’t get this crap,” he muttered. Yamaguchi laughed.

“It’s easy, really. Look, I’ll help you.” He pulled his seat closer to Kei’s, so their knees were touching and Tsukishima almost jumped out of the chair. “Okay, so, mandrakes – ”

It wasn’t surprising in the slightest when Tsukishima found that he wasn’t listening to a thing Yamaguchi was saying. Fuck mandrakes. Who cares about some screaming plant if he could pay attention to the way Yamaguchi’s freckles, sprinkled across his face, served to make him look so much cuter than he already was; they were sitting so close he could count each and every one of them. It took a lot of self-restraint to stop himself from bringing a hand up to touch them.

Although clearly, he didn’t have as much self-restraint as he required, because while he managed to keep his hands to himself, his lips were a completely different story. Yamaguchi blinked, the quill he was holding falling onto his parchment, a few drops of ink splattering across it as Kei kept on kissing him.

He was already reaching for his wand, ready to remove any evidence of such a thing ever happening, when they heard a noise and jumped apart.

A couple of first years came and sat down at the table opposite them. Oh. Fuck.

His hands twitched. He  _had_  to obliviate Yamaguchi, and he had to do it  _now,_ before everything was ruined _._ He couldn’t deal with things if they changed for the worse. He couldn’t live with knowing Yamaguchi hated him.

He was already contemplating asking Yamaguchi if they should go for a walk in the school grounds when he realized all of Yamaguchi’s things were already packed up and Mr. Freckled Cutie was standing up, telling him he had somewhere to be, sorry Tsukki and running off.

The wand in his pocket felt like it weighed a ton.

He met Ennoshita at the library entrance, having packed up his things and decided to go look for Yamaguchi.

“He’s in the common room,” Ennoshita told him.

Common room. What common room? Where the  _fuck_  were the Hufflepuff common rooms? How was he supposed to get in, anyway, even if he found out?

He was so screwed. He heard the first years’ laughter echo in the otherwise silent library and started planning out their murders.

-oOo-

Surprisingly, Yamaguchi was as normal as always. He smiled and ran up to him with a call of “Tsukki!” in the hallways, sat next to him in Slytherin-Hufflepuff classes, waved across the Great Hall when they sat at their respective tables during breakfast, lunch, dinner.

It was Tsukishima who was acting weird, and he knew it. He turned away whenever Yamaguchi showed up, refusing to open his mouth lest he say something stupid. Refusing to talk during classes, refusing to look at Yamaguchi.

It reminded him of his denial phase, where he realized he was completely infatuated with his best friend, and didn’t want to accept it, hoping maybe ignoring would help him get over the crush. What a fail.

He only wanted them to be alone again, somehow, so he could remove the memory and bring things back to normal. Except for some reason – coincidence or deliberate, he had no idea, but somehow, there was never a moment when Yamaguchi would approach him that they were alone. There was always,  _always_  a third party present. And it was frustrating as fuck.

Maybe Yamaguchi was scared he’d do something again. Maybe this was Yamaguchi’s way of rejecting him – telling him look, I don’t want you to kiss me, so I’ll make sure you can’t.

But that wasn’t Yamaguchi’s style. If Tsukishima was blunt, Yamaguchi was honest. He knew what had to be said, and what could be implied, and he would know that this wasn’t just some stupid thing that he could hint his response to, for Tsukishima to infer from.

All he needed was one chance – two minutes, max – to bring things back to the way they were, and he just didn’t seem to get it.

-oOo-

It was during Charms with Hufflepuff – he was seated next to Yamaguchi, naturally – that he thought maybe he could bring up the topic of memory charms with Takeda-sensei to maybe accidentally-on-purpose use it on Yamaguchi, since he never got the chance to.

He was going over the question in his head when he heard it. He knew Yamaguchi heard it too. It was impossible for him to not have.

“You know that Tsukishima? 

“Yeah?”

“I saw him making out with his friend from Hufflepuff. In the Astronomy Tower.”

Kei blanched. He gave Yamaguchi a sideways glance, who was frowning and going over the fact. Astronomy tower? But he’d been kissed in the library. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Yamaguchi to think the ‘Hufflepuff friend’ was someone else –

“Oh, the one he’s sitting next to right now?”

“Yeah! Him!”

Oh fuck.

“And then you won’t believe what happened."

“They fucked.”

“ _No_ , he  _obliviated_  the Hufflepuff guy – his name is Yamaguchi right? – and made up some lie about watching the Quidditch match from the window.”

“Wait, you mean he’s kissing him, and making him forget by using memory charms?”

“Apparently.”

“Wow, asshole…how do you know?”

“I was hiding from Mrs. Norris, see, and I hid under an invisibility cloak in the tower and after a while they came in and all that shit happened.”

“Wow, that’s just – wow.”

Tsukishima felt himself drain of energy. The look on Yamaguchi’s face screamed shock and betrayal, and he wanted nothing but to get up and run away. Instead he groaned and muttered, “Takeda-sensei is so boring…”, pretending he didn’t hear the conversation. Yamaguchi gave him a strained smile.

“It’s just a twenty more minutes.”

They didn’t say anything more to each other for the rest of the lesson, after which Yamaguchi ran off to the Hufflepuff common rooms and Tsukishima begged Suga-san for the password to the prefects’ bathroom to drown himself in the huge bathtub.

-oOo 

Surprises just didn’t come to him. He had started expecting the worst for everything, had gotten so used to accepting things the way they happened, without a fuss or a fight, that nothing really surprised him anymore.

But Yamaguchi continuing to be normal was very much a huge surprise, and he stood at the entrance to the Great Hall for a few seconds, blinking down at Yamaguchi who was laughing about something Ennoshita said and how much he loved the pancakes at Hogwarts, before he managed to compose himself and make his way in for breakfast.

He sat with his back to the Hufflepuff table, and paid extraordinary attention to Noya-san and Tanaka-san’s extremely stupid conversation, just so he wouldn’t get distracted and turn around to look.

-oOo- 

“Why do you look so dead?”

“What?”

Hinata frowned and pushed him onto the sofa behind him. Why was Hinata in the Slytherin common rooms? He was a Gryffindor, he had no right to be here. And why the fuck did Kageyama give him the password?

“You look dead,” Hinata told him.  “Why?”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” He frowned. “You look like Kageyama does when we have a fight.”

“You guys  _fight_? I thought all you ever do is make out.”

Hinata scowled and sat down next to him. “Really, though. That’s what you look like. Oh my god, do you have a girlfriend?! Did you fight with her too?!  _You’re not being an asshole, are you?!”_

Kei almost laughed. He opened his mouth to do it. But what came out was the truth. It was probably just him being stupid and desperate and he knew he’d look back on it later to yell at himself and worry because goddammit why was he telling  _Hinata_  the issues in his love life?!

But that’s what he did. And Hinata listened attentively, to make a face when he ended.

“You’re such an asshole, like, who does that? You should go tell him, already. Like, now.”

“Tell who what?”

“Don’t play dumb! Go tell Yamaguchi that you like him!”

Tsukishima snorted. “Yeah, fat lot of good that’s going to do. He knows I’m a bastard.”

“Yeah, you are,” Hinata said, matter of factly. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re head over heels in love with him, and unless you tell him that, he won’t know. He probably thinks you’re using him to relieve your sexual frustrations, and like, if you kissed him but he doesn’t remember, then there’s no guarantee you haven’t done anything else too, ya know?”

“You’re saying he thinks I  _raped_  him?”

“Not  _rape_ , you’re not  _that_  much of a jerk. But I mean, people normally want to know if they’re doing things with someone, you see.”

Kei sighed, thought back to the first time he’d kissed Yamaguchi. He remembered the expression Yamaguchi made when he drew the wan on him, remembered the pained look on his face and the hurt in his own head, screaming at him and telling him this was a  _very bad idea._

Yeah, he was the world’s biggest jerk. Ever.

“How do I tell him, though?”

“It seems hard,” Hinata told him. “But when you do it, it doesn’t seem so bad. Even if you’re like, terrified of being rejected and stuff, it doesn’t seem like too much of a big deal later.”

“How do  _you_  know? You and Kageyama got together, he didn’t reject you.”

Hinata laughed. “He confessed first, you know? I said I wanted to think about it. He thought I was going to reject him. Then like a week later I came to your dorms and did all that crap. Kageyama said it’s scary at first but it’s fine after a while.”

The door opened and a group of seventh years came filing in, and Hinata waved goodbye before running off, yelling a “Tell him!” as he did so.

Tsukishima sat there on the sofa for another half an hour, contemplating everything Hinata had said – when did that shrimp become so  _wise_? – and hated himself some more.

_“People normally want to know if they’re doing things with someone, you see.”_

Sighing, he stood up and left the Dungeons, determined to find Yamaguchi, no matter what.

-oOo 

He had to resort to asking the same first years who had caused this whole mess. Maybe he should be grateful to them. He mostly just hated them, though.

“Who?”

“Yamaguchi Tadashi. Fifth year, Hufflepuff, brownish-green hair, freckles?”

“Oh!” One of them exclaimed in recognition. “I saw him up at the AstronomyTower, last.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

Stupid Astronomy Tower.

He ran up, hoping Yamaguchi was still there, and he hadn’t left already, please let that first year girl be right, let him be there –

“Oh, Tsukki!”

He stood in the entrance, a little breathless from having run up five flights of stairs.

“You look tired – “

“Be quiet for a minute.”

He took his wand out and pointed it in the center of the room. “ _Homenum Revelio.”_

“There’s no one here,” Yamaguchi told him. “I already checked.”

Awkward. Kei pocketed his wand and although hesitant at first, came to stand next to Yamaguchi at the window. The Ravenclaws were practicing for their upcoming match against Gryffindor. Hinata would win for Gryffindor. Hinata was an amazing seeker.

“Who do you think is going to win?”

“Dunno. Gryffindor, probably.”

“Yeah. Same.”

He went over the words in his head.  _I like you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that._

“Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi said, and Kei felt his heart pound, blood rush to his head at being called by his proper name, and not as  _Tsukki._ “How many times…did you do that?”

Once. Maybe twice. Lying wasn’t going to be any use, though. What good would it bring?

“A lot.”

“How much is ‘a lot’”?

“…a month and a half’s worth?”

“Oh.” Silence. An awkward, terrifying silence. What now? He was  _such_ an asshole, Yamaguchi would tell him so and leave, in about ten seconds –

“I didn’t do anything but kiss you,” Tsukishima told him. He had to confirm that much at least.  _You’re not_ that _much of a jerk._  “And I’m so- “

“Why’d you do it?”

“…what?”

“Why’d you kiss me? Why did you try and make me forget?”

Yamaguchi turned to look at him then, and Kei felt the raw pain in his eyes practically stab him, it was so sharp. There was nothing but the truth now.  “…I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know. Rejection.”

“You thought I’d  _reject_  you?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know. No.”

“I don’t mea – what?”

“Do you like me?”

Kei paused. This was it, right? He was supposed to admit it, clear cut, without anything left to misinterpret. Then he’d be either rejected or accepted and everything in his head said it was the former.

“Yeah. I do. A lot.” He took a deep breath. “I’m…really pathetic. I never do things right. And I’m an asshole who doesn’t _know_  how to do things right, but I…really like you. I’m a loser. I’m sorry.”

The smile he received left him bedazzled, and surprised. Yamaguchi takes a step towards him, closing the distance between them. “I wouldn’t have minded, you know?”

“Minded what?”

“Being kissed by Tsukki. Apparently we’ve been kissing for a month and a half, but I don’t remember any of it, and I really want to.”

Kei swallowed, face slowly heating up, and hands getting clammy and sweaty. “Do you…want me to uh, remind…you?”

Yamaguchi grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him down for a kiss in response. “That was really cheesy, and you’re still a jerk,” he muttered against his lips, and Kei opened his mouth to reply with an “I know.” Something he never got to do, because the minute his lips parted, Tadashi’s tongue was in his mouth, and his mind went blank.

-oOo- 

He entered the common rooms alone, hair sticking up in all directions, robes crumpled from the front where they had been tightly gripped to pull him down. He made a face at Kageyama and Hinata, who were, once again, making out in the corner of the room, but it didn’t affect him much, this time.

He was a loser, but he wasn’t an extremely pathetic one. Or well, at least he didn’t depend on memory charms anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted on tumblr@candylit


End file.
